32:1-2 Jacob continues his journey home and along the way, he is met by angels, messengers, of God. The beauty of God's family is each soul's compassion and eagerness to join Him in His work. God promises to take care of Jacob, and you, and to ensure that his promise is kept, he employs the help of his angels. They are right there with him and even though you cannot see them, they are right here with you. For Jesus explained to us in John 14:6 that if we pray for help, we receive a helper, a comforter.
32:3-5 Jacob arranges for a message to be sent to his twin brother Esau. Jacob and Esau parted with unsettled matters and we can guess that Jacob wanted to either: get an understanding of the current condition of the relationship with his brother before arrival or simply give him notice before showing up. In other words, Jacob was either testing the waters or being polite.
Jacob's arrangement might suggest that he has a flaw (a flaw we all have sometimes): not completely trusting in God. It is a worthwhile trait to have to be prepared and cautious however God had specifically told Jacob to journey home... thereby stating it as a safe place to be.
We can relate to Jacob because we are also human. We are highly susceptible to fear.
32:6-7 The messengers speak with Esau and return to Jacob with a message: Esau is now also journeying toward him... with an army of four hundred men. Jacob is terrified. He's anxious.
32:8 Jacob begins to plan for the worst. He divides his people and animals into two different groups that way, if Esau attacks one group, the other has a chance at survival.
32:9 Jacob prays to God; praying has always been Jacob's initial response and it has been his saving grace every time. Jacob prays to God and even though he's frightened, reiterates the plan God gave to him: "Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you." Jacob remembers this promise and yet it's still not enough to stifle his fear.
God chose truly relatable humans to be his prophets and pioneers of the faith. If Jacob were perfect, we could not directly apply his experience of distress to ours. God showers us with promises of love and protection and yet we still allow fear to sneak through. God's hope is that we come to understand that his love is perfect, the application of his guidance and wisdom in our lives is perfect. We do not need to fear anything, not an army of four hundred men not anything at all.
32:10 Although Jacob's faith is not a solid as it could be, he is praying to God. He is working to battle his fear with faith and because of that, he will. He presents himself to God with humility saying: I am not worthy of all of the blessings you have showered on me, my family and my life.
Jacob's claim to be unworthy is born out of his inherently human ineptitude: we cannot match the glory of God. As fallible creatures, we make mistakes. We are weak when our strength is required sometimes. But Jacob proclaims himself a servant of God, a child dedicated to working toward and for God's compassionate will. With God as our commitment and our destination, He is able to work us through our flaws and tribulations. He is able to keep us on our path.
32:11 In desperation, Jacob prays for something God has already promised: that he and his family are protected.
32:12 Jacob reminds God of his promise to take care of him and allow his family to thrive... God does not need reminding but we as humans certainly do. We need consistent reassurance until (and even after) our faith and our trust is strong.
32:13-16 Jacob gathers a gift for Esau: a significant portion of his livelihood, his animals.
32:17 Jacob sends his workers to greet Esau with the gift. Jacob is so fearful of his brother that he is trying to warm him up, rectify the relationship before they meet face to face.
32:18-19 Jacob tells his workers to explain to Esau that the gift comes from Esau's "servant Jacob." Jacob is not Esau's servant but he is trying to appease his brother, to reduce the tension between them by humbling himself. Jacob is going a little overboard but he's worried.
32:20-21 Jacob's hope is that he will be accepted by Esau when they meet. He makes camp for the night while his workers make the journey with the gift.
32:22-23 He moves Rachel, Leah, Bilhah and Ziplah and his eleven sons to a place where he believes they will be safe.
32:24 Jacob's stress level reaches an all time high. He's completely overwhelmed and overtaken by worry and anxiety. He's experiencing an internal crisis, a spiritual crisis. He begins to physically struggle against God*: a symbolic representation of the work it takes to let faith break through and gain complete control, to break our bad habits, fears and insecurities and completely reform us.
*We know from Hosea 12 that Jacob indeed does struggle with God.
It is an existential crisis most, if not all, of us confront during our lives. Jacob has the promises of God but he is yet unable to allow himself to fully trust in Him. He truly does believe in and love God, he's grateful for His Hand in his life but his is unable for some reason to give Him complete control. We know this; we've felt this.
It is at this point in his life that he must make a decision: what is he going to fear? Is he going to fear the wrath and unpredictability of humans? Or is he going to fear a future without God? For when we choose to fear a life separate from God, we ensure that our lives are always aligned with God. And when we do that, our fear melts away; it becomes obsolete. Our fear loses it's purpose and power.
32:25 This struggle reveals the resiliency of Jacob's faith: even if tribulation looms over him, tests him, contends with him, Jacob is not going to give up. He's never going to abandon his faith. God uses this moment to still Jacob. The test of faith is over and God requires Jacob's full attention.
32:26 Before the struggle official ends, Jacob needs to proclaim his faith. He and God need to formally, personally reestablish their trust in each other.
32:27 God asks Jacob: "What is your name?" Jacob responds.
32:28 In this moment God changes his name for symbolic purposes to Israel. The name Israel will represent God's commitment and Jacob's willingness to join with Him in faith. Jacob/Israel has had his faith tested by his experiences with men and God and he prevailed in choosing God.
32:29 Jacob asks for this Entity's name. God asks Jacob why he requests his name... for Jacob knows Who God is. He knows Him. God blesses Jacob because even though nameless, God knows that Jacob knows Who He is. You might not have a name for God either but if you know, truly, deeply know his compassion and creative and wise nature: then you know all you need to know. You know everything about Him. You know exactly Who he is, more than a measly name could ever say.
32:30 Jacob leaves with fantastic experience with God and hobbles away in love and gratitude and remembrance of God. He names the place of his struggle Peniel: vision of God. God has preserved Jacob's life... his eternal life. Not just his life on Earth. God's children receive protection over their eternal lives from God, not just this life.
32:31 Tradition came from Jacob's struggle and hip injury meaning that Jacob shared his experience, taught and explained his faith in God to his family... and through generations they kept Jacob's encounter with God alive.
